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Depression Relationships Self-improvement By Dave Barry, MFT

The Value of Memorializing

Not too long ago I had the chance to visit the 9/11 Memorial at the World Trade Center in New York City. Words fail to describe the sheer power of that site.

My son was with me that morning and I found myself stumbling through an appropriate way to explain to a child where we were and what we were witnessing. We talked about how all of those names etched in stone are names of people who are no longer with us. He was curious why there were two square holes with waterfalls in the middle of lower Manhattan. I had him look up and try and picture what once towered overhead. In delicate terms, I tried to describe how on a morning many years ago there was a great tragedy and those towers were badly damaged and came crashing down. We spoke about bravery and heroism. And we spoke about hurt and loss.

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Anger Management Anxiety Stress By Dave Barry, MFT

Don’t Be An Exploding Ant

I don’t typically read scientific articles about newly discovered insect species. But I couldn’t resist checking out the article titled, “Meet the ‘exploding ant,’ which sacrifices itself for its colony.”

For those of us who are not particularly fond of ants, it’s a bit concerning to learn about the colobopsis explodens, or the ‘exploding ants.’ These ants that dwell in the jungles of Southeast Asia have an interesting form of self-defense. They literally blow themselves up. But they really explode in an attempt to protect their colony. So it’s like a form of colonial-defense. The scientist points out that “these ants will not explode for any old reason. They only do it in response to an attack, a  “form of active self-sacrifice” that kills them. The ants need to “really be provoked.” Read more

Confidence Goals Self-improvement Wit & Wisdom By Dave Barry, MFT

Wit & Wisdom – William James

“The use of a life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.” – William James

 

How to develop a legacy:

 

Spend your time and energy and resources on that which is meaningful.

Develop relationships.

Be vulnerable.

Create boldly.

Invest in others.

Always be learning.

Always be sharing.

Balance conviction and compassion.

Find ways to be kind to yourself and others.

Anxiety Confidence Depression Self-improvement By Dave Barry, MFT

Thanks For The Feedback

Jason got his essay returned to him with several corrections and suggestions written by the teacher in red ink. He got a ‘B-’ on the assignment. He was hoping for an ‘A’.Katherine was giving a presentation at work and she noticed Lilly spent most of the time distracted by her phone and not listening to what was said. Afterward, Katherine’s boss told her how much she appreciated all the hard work Katherine had put into the presentation.Doug made dinner for his family but his youngest son refused to eat it saying that it tasted “yucky” and demanded to have Mac ‘N Cheese instead.Jackson told his wife how much he liked his wife’s new hairdo.Marita told her husband that she feels alone in the relationship and that she thinks her husband is always preoccupied with his job.

Feedback is all around us. Each and every day we face a barrage of feedback, both wanted and unwanted. Some of it is flat-out wrong, while others can be spot-on. There’s no avoiding feedback. We simply have the choice of how we respond to it. Read more

Anxiety Confidence Depression Self-improvement By Dave Barry, MFT

Erasing The Past

I recently read a news article about a tattoo artist in Iowa who offers a free service to remove old tattoos that depict racist images. Those who take him up on his offer express deep remorse and regret getting the hateful tattoos many years ago. Racially divisive images once represented a belief they were passionate about, but now symbolize a gross error in thinking and a mark of shame.

This tattoo artist in Iowa is offering a valuable service. An opportunity to erase reminders of the past that prevent some from living life to the fullest presently. One customer had a racial symbol erased and replaced with the name of his granddaughter. Erasing a hateful image that remained for years as a shameful reminder of foolishness and replacing it with a loving name that is the pride of this grandfather.

Transforming shame to pride. Read more

Healthcare Therapy By Dave Barry, MFT

The RIGHT Care Program

Dallas Police Department is partnering with Parkland Hospital to roll out the RIGHT Care program. RIGHT stands for Rapid Integrative Group Healthcare Team.

This Integrative model of health that partners First Responders with Mental Healthcare professionals is an encouraging first step in what I hope proves to be a successful collaboration.

Creating bridges across our healthcare system, and even with other entities like first responders, can result in improved health care results and alleviate the burden on our various social services. I will be hoping that the RIGHT Care Program is a success and that it’s positive impact results in an expansion of integrative healthcare services.

Couples Therapy Marriage Relationships Wit & Wisdom By Dave Barry, MFT

Wit & Wisdom – Karl Popper

“The aim of argument should not be victory, but progress.” – Philosopher Karl Popper

Victory is great in games. When you sit down to play a board game you play to win. When the Giants and the Dodgers square off against one another on the baseball field they both employ a strategy and tactics to ultimately defeat their opponent. The game will end with one team being the victor and the other team will be the loser. The possibility of losing comes with the price of admission to play the game. It is an accepted reality.

However, arguing is not a game. The same rules do not apply. Particularly in the context of a relationship or a marriage. Do you want to employ strategy and tactics to defeat your spouse or partner? At what personal and relational cost do you pay to “win” the argument? Is “winning the argument” even possible? Read more

Confidence Depression Self-improvement Wit & Wisdom By Dave Barry, MFT

Wit & Wisdom – Galway Kinnell

“Sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness.” Poet, Galway Kinnell

We are all born with a value that is priceless. That value does not change over time. Only the perception of that value does.
Life has a way of making us think that our value is tarnished. Maybe, if we are honest with ourselves, we also fall into the trap of devaluing others. Read more

Anxiety Depression Stress By Dave Barry, MFT

The Problem With Complaining

It was recently that time of the year to change the clocks. Spring forward one hour. The reason I knew daylight savings time was approaching was that my news feed started to get littered with articles and posts all bemoaning this inconvenience. Complaining about changing the clocks seems to be a twice a year tradition that has become so predictable you can, well, set your clocks to it. Could our collective hatred towards daylight savings time be the last thing we as a country are unified about?
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Relationships Teenage By Dave Barry, MFT

Guns, Mental Health, and Anger: A society seeks for solutions.

Our nation has once again been brought to face another tragedy after a gunman murdered 17 students and teachers at Marjory Stoneman High School in Parkland, Florida. As a society that has become all too familiar with breaking news alerts of mass shootings we desperately look for answers as to why these tragedies occur and what solutions can be found to prevent them. We all want to prevent the horrors that unfolded on that campus from happening again and we cannot let our endeavor be in vain.

In the wake of another senseless shooting gun control laws and mental illness are the two topics that have taken a prominent position in the national debate. According to a poll from ABC News, more people believe that increased mental health screening and treatment would likely have prevented the Parkland shooting over stricter gun control laws. Read more

Global Leadership Summit – 2023 – Day 2

As I mentioned in my previous post, the Global Leadership Summit is a two day event hosted outside of Chicago. It brings …

Global Leadership Summit – 2023 – Day 1

Am I a leader? If so, what and who am I leading? And how good of a job am I doing at leading? If I’m honest, these are …

Non-Zero Day

Zero Days. We’ve all had them. And if you’ve had enough Zero Days you know that they can lead to despair. The …