“The human mind is programmed for survival, not for truth.” – John Gray
The good news is we’re a resilient species. The bad news is our neurotic brains can keep us from fully living life.
Our brains do a pretty good job of perceiving threats and plotting a way to avoid danger. This comes in very handy when you are walking towards a busy city road with lots of cars and buses zipping around. Read more
The residents of Whoville woke Christmas morning to find that their town had been ransacked the night before. The scheming Grinch was bent on robbing them of their joy of Christmas, and he attempted to do so by stealing all of the Christmas decorations and gifts from the entire town. But as dawn broke over Whoville the Grinch was shocked to hear the residents in the town below still singing joyfully. Welcome Christmas. Christmas Day…Welcome Christmas Bring your cheer! Read more
“Perfection is like chasing the horizon. Keep moving.” – Neil Gaiman
Is there anything more futile than perfectionism? Being perfect is simply not attainable. We all know this. The rational part of our brain agrees that we cannot be perfect. But yet something remains deep inside ourselves that drive us to perfectionism. If we can be perfect than we can also achieve acceptance, accomplishment, assurance. Read more
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” – Corrie ten Boom
The story we tell ourselves goes something like this:
Sure, I don’t like to worry, but if I do worry, at least I won’t be taken by surprise when the hardship happens. And if I’m not taken by surprise, then I may be able to cope with hardship. And maybe I may even be able to find a way to lessen the hardship. Or find a way to avoid the hardship altogether. So yes, worrying does me some good.
But that’s an inaccurate story. And if you were able to look back at a record of all the times your worries amounted to nothing, you would know without a shadow of a doubt that worrying does not serve the purpose we like to believe it does. More often than not, we are worrying to not be caught by surprise or solve hardships that never materialize. Read more
Let’s talk about something that we all typically struggle with (myself included): achieving rest. The title of this news report says it all: “Everybody is exhausted.”
Generally speaking, we need more sleep, are overstressed, and don’t take the time off work we need and deserve.
Even when we get downtime it is often not spent in a way that is refreshing. That’s because we rarely unplug and get away from things that buzz, ping, and beep. Our Social Media news feeds produce more info than our brains could ever possibly process. There are always more shows to binge-watch, and video games to get entirely immersed in, and email threads to reply to. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these items (smartphones, Netflix, video games, work), but we must consider the effects of sensory overstimulation on our minds that were created to have a regular cadence of rest. Read more
I don’t typically read scientific articles about newly discovered insect species. But I couldn’t resist checking out the article titled, “Meet the ‘exploding ant,’ which sacrifices itself for its colony.”
For those of us who are not particularly fond of ants, it’s a bit concerning to learn about the colobopsis explodens, or the ‘exploding ants.’ These ants that dwell in the jungles of Southeast Asia have an interesting form of self-defense. They literally blow themselves up. But they really explode in an attempt to protect their colony. So it’s like a form of colonial-defense. The scientist points out that “these ants will not explode for any old reason. They only do it in response to an attack, a “form of active self-sacrifice” that kills them. The ants need to “really be provoked.” Read more
Jason got his essay returned to him with several corrections and suggestions written by the teacher in red ink. He got a ‘B-’ on the assignment. He was hoping for an ‘A’.Katherine was giving a presentation at work and she noticed Lilly spent most of the time distracted by her phone and not listening to what was said. Afterward, Katherine’s boss told her how much she appreciated all the hard work Katherine had put into the presentation.Doug made dinner for his family but his youngest son refused to eat it saying that it tasted “yucky” and demanded to have Mac ‘N Cheese instead.Jackson told his wife how much he liked his wife’s new hairdo.Marita told her husband that she feels alone in the relationship and that she thinks her husband is always preoccupied with his job.
Feedback is all around us. Each and every day we face a barrage of feedback, both wanted and unwanted. Some of it is flat-out wrong, while others can be spot-on. There’s no avoiding feedback. We simply have the choice of how we respond to it. Read more
I recently read a news article about a tattoo artist in Iowa who offers a free service to remove old tattoos that depict racist images. Those who take him up on his offer express deep remorse and regret getting the hateful tattoos many years ago. Racially divisive images once represented a belief they were passionate about, but now symbolize a gross error in thinking and a mark of shame.
This tattoo artist in Iowa is offering a valuable service. An opportunity to erase reminders of the past that prevent some from living life to the fullest presently. One customer had a racial symbol erased and replaced with the name of his granddaughter. Erasing a hateful image that remained for years as a shameful reminder of foolishness and replacing it with a loving name that is the pride of this grandfather.
Transforming shame to pride. Read more
It was recently that time of the year to change the clocks. Spring forward one hour. The reason I knew daylight savings time was approaching was that my news feed started to get littered with articles and posts all bemoaning this inconvenience. Complaining about changing the clocks seems to be a twice a year tradition that has become so predictable you can, well, set your clocks to it. Could our collective hatred towards daylight savings time be the last thing we as a country are unified about?
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This time of year always feels like the unofficial kickoff of the “New Year.” The lazy days of summer give way to the structured cadence of the autumn schedule. Vacations end and school begins. Families get busy and the calendar fills up. As you embark on all the tasks you have this upcoming fall and you take stock of what you will need to achieve your goals, be sure not to overlook one critical characteristic: Grit.
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Husband. Father. Therapist. Speaker. Leader. David has a passion to help people reach their fullest potential in life, relationships, and business. Recognized as a trusted Therapist by Doctors, Pastors, and Educators. David has over 10 years of experience providing relational counseling, launching therapeutic programs, and leading seminars.
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